Life in the fast lane

As life finally begins to settle in I am enjoying my boys, my work, school, and life in general. Things are surely going to ramp up again soon as I am heading into a busy time of year but I am pausing to say thank you to everyone who has made my life what it is. I am so grateful for my husband who puts up with my crazy ideas, my mom who listens to them and doesn't judge (not always at least) and my kids who are along for the ride.
I've begun reading audiobooks during my commute. I know its not fair to say I'm reading them but I suppose I am listening and envisioning like I would when I read. Its a great time for me to catch up on some of that stuff that makes life an experience. The last one I read was Remember Me? By Sophie Kinsella. Next on the list is Eckhart Tolle's New Earth, an Oprah selection. I'm thinking about starting a group where we can share our audiobooks...surely there are commuters out there like me?

Whole Foods/Organic Foods

I recently joined a whole foods club where people come together to order food that is local, organic, environmentally friendly, etc. The purpose of the organization is broad in that it is not only to encourage healthy living and eating but also to discuss cooking techniques and partially for homemakers to focus on keeping their families well fed and educated.

I joined the group not because I am a homemaker interested in some of these topics but because I share the common bond of being a mom with them. I'm interested in making our lives healthier in a number of aspects and this group gives me the opportunity to do this.

Max was diagnosed with a CCAM when he was in utero. That diagnosis has since been turned over but an area of his lungs continues to be compromised. A recent visit to a Pediatric Pulmonologist led us down a path of clearing out our lives as much as possible. We now use green cleaners on everything from laundry and dishes to our floors and mirrors. We also have instituted changes in our eating habits which we hope to increase by joining this group.

Organic and locally grown foods are available everywhere. Its finding them that is tricky. But, a group of minds are better than one. While I can't say I will be the most involved member it is a great opportunity for me to live a better life and I'm grateful for that.

Adoption

Adoption is something I've been considering for a very long time. Its something I would LOVE to do. But, there are ups and downs to adopting. The experience can be different for everyone. I am attracted to adopting a child that needs a home. I am attracted to sharing my love with a new person whether they are my DNA or not, they are my child. But I worry about the effect of it on the boys, and the child we would adopt.

My husband has been warming up to the idea over the past few years. And now, as we make the decision on what will be our final child I find myself battling between adopted or natural. Will I always yearn for one more pregnancy? Or will I always yearn to have the opportunity to choose my child?

To have more or not to have more...

So when and how do you decide this? As you know I have 2 boys...and I want a big family. But, I'm beginning to feel like two is big! No, really, I want to give them everything I can so do I have more or do I not? The decision doesn't have to be made now I suppose. I can pack away the maternity clothes and the baby clothes as we grow out of them but this is an internal dilemma I've been having for awhile. It almost takes away from my being able to enjoy Maxwell. I need to stop thinking about it and let life happen...right? It's that easy isn't it? :)

Are you as busy and stressed out as I am?

I'm looking for a social network. One where we are all busy, stressed out, and not afraid to say it. One where we don't judge because you only stayed home half the day when your kids were sick. One where you packed those sick kids up and brought them to work for just a little bit because you are COMPLETELY out of vacation/sick/personal leave due to cold and flu season.

I'm looking for a friend who doesn't stay home with their kids. And who doesn't hang out with people who do. They are few and far between for me now. I find myself saying things to stay at home moms who quip right back about their relaxed lifestyle. I get it...I just don't want it.

I'm tired, pretty much all the time. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job because my kids are sick again and I'm convinced I don't do enough for them. I'm afraid I'll never get promoted. And I need a friend who is just as busy and stressed out as I am...any takers?

12:30 to 2 a.m.

This is the time that really makes you a mom I think. The times when you're up convinced you will teach your child to sleep through the night and stop feeding so often. You know he doesn't need it and after discussions with your doctor the time to stop it is now. Its only at 2 am that you read the news you would normally skip, or write on your blog. But its times like this that create "war stories" for the future. You share these moments with all moms.
With our first son we ended up using the Ferber method when he was a year old. He never slept through the night before then and it was wearing on us. He was typically up twice a night on average. Our second was a great sleeper at first but the more his routine is messed with the worse it becomes. He began sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. Then a trip to his grandparents ruined it. Once he was finally sleeping through the night again the Thanksgiving holiday was hosted at our house and he had to sleep in his pack n play...ruined it. Now, he's up once a night every night and tonight he's up a few times already. His father fed him while we were visiting family so he would go back to sleep. Now he thinks he can just eat all night long. So, we're back to the Ferber method. 5 minutes, then 10, then 15....it makes for a long night but its quiet right now...maybe it will work for us again?

The holidays

I always work myself up for the holidays. I happen to think my birthday is the most important day of the year. Christmas is second to that only because it means I get to see everyone I love (usually) and I get the day off. This year was special as we got to show off our newest addition Maxwell to our family. Its also the last time we will likely see our family for quite awhile as we only travel every other year.
And it was a let down. I'm not trying to be a bummer here but it was. Traveling with 2 kids on an airplane was ok. Getting there wasn't too bad. But keeping up with different time zones, new sleep schedules, or not sleeping at all was terrible. Add in the fact that I had to live out of a suitcase for 2 weeks and it got worse. Plus, all my old friends were missing in action. We all emailed and talked big about meeting up for coffee or something but when it came time I made phone calls, sent emails, and not one showed up. In fact, the one friend I did see I had to drop in on. Its not always like this but perhaps this year we have officially begun growing apart. Maybe next year we won't even bother emailing...if this is the case how will we plan our 10 year reunion?!?
Anyway, the kids enjoyed it. We took 2 extra suitcases home full of gifts and our house is overwhelmed with toys again. They loved playing with family, spending extra time with mom and dad and seeing new friends. It was worth it for them. It always will be in the end right?
On another note a good friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Dec. 27th...welcome to the world Erin!